Contributed by Barbara Sinor, PhD

" …it is possible to achieve the freedom to have any viewpoint

you choose and therefore any reality."

~Deepak Chopra

The above quote rings true for me, but this was not always the case. When I was younger (quite a bit younger!) I thought life was all laid out for me. I would marry the man I loved, have 2.5 children, and live happily-ever-after. I did marry the man I loved when I was eighteen years old, but actually, who knows what lasting love is at that age?

I proceeded to live my life during my twenties looking for something I felt was lacking. We had two lovely children which helped fill some of the empty spots in my soul, but the happily-ever-after was not meant to be. I continued searching for more of something but not quite sure what "it" was--more education, more artistic crafts, more re-decorating new homes; nothing seemed to fill the void I felt. I thought I was being open to my feelings and desires as to what I wanted in life, but soon I became aware that I didn’t really know what I wanted, what I was searching for.

When my children began their schooling years, I decided to also resume my higher education. This was a major turning point in my life. I started to realize the outside world around me was filled with caring supporting people. My professors actually cared about me and my desire to find a career in which I felt I was contributing to others‘ lives. I continued with college for several years, worked part-time, and took care of my husband and two children. Sometimes, I would stand back and marvel at how I was able to do it all! I will never forget the wonderful professors that guided me toward my career within the field of counseling. This stage in my life was just the beginning of my experiencing a perception of kindness.

As I became more confident in myself and my abilities, I also found myself becoming more unhappy in my relationship with my husband. As Chopra explains, my viewpoint changed and thus my reality. I do believe "perception precedes experience" and my perception at that time was one of feeling closed-in and limited in my relationship. I chose to divorce my husband; we stayed friends and shared the custody of our two children with honor and respect.

As I roamed both in my mind and in residence locations, I found my career very rewarding but more importantly, I found my Self. I continued counseling and began my writing career authoring two books. Suddenly ten years whizzed by and the empty spot in my soul had been filled with kind loving people. It was then that I decided to search for intimate love again.

Surprise! The most kind loving person entered my life--again. Yes, he was my ex-husband-–now my husband for almost twenty years, the second time around. The person I chose those many years ago and then left, offered his love to me a second time. He has become the most kind and loving person in my life, offering only unconditional love. This act of kindness has brought me to my happily-ever-after life I had envisioned my reality was suppose to be. My viewpoint has changed, my perception of reality has changed, and my Self is continuing to grow and change--for there is always change.

I have semi-retired from my counseling practice but continue to share my Self within my writing. To continue sharing my thoughts and perception of reality keeps me in touch with and surrounded in loving kindness. Again, Chopra says, "Perception is the first and most important step in turning the raw data of the universe into reality." A perception of kindness comes when we allow ourselves to open to that larger Self, to experience life’s blessings, and share it with others.

Barbara Sinor, PhD, is the author of Gifts from the Child Within, An Inspirational Guide for the Recovering Soul, and Addiction: What's Really Going on? In a Heroin Treatment Program. She is semi-retired and living in northern California with her husband and dog, Goldie.  Dr. Sinor is experienced in the media giving seminars and speaking engagements; writing articles for journals, magazines, and online web sites. Web site: www.DrSinor.com