Contributed by Nancy Oelklaus

One of my life scripts was that men were for me to fix. Voices in my head said, He’s too this. He’s not enough that. I have to tell him . . . Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Several years ago it became clear to me that a big piece of my life’s purpose is to learn to honor my husband, not longing for a different husband or wishing the one I have would be this way or that way. Rather, accepting and loving who he is and being happy with what I have.

But then what do I do with all those wishes flying through my head, scripted by who knows what? Several years ago, in touch with my heart, I sifted through all those messages, made a decision about what was really important, and wrote down my heart’s desire. I wrote as if what I wanted was already true for the husband I have right now. I put my writing away, in a box. I forgot all about it, and I just found it this morning. Here’s what I wrote back then:

My husband loves God, and he loves himself. He shows he loves me by valuing what I need, my friends, my interests, my work, my talent. He listens to me and honors my words. He appreciates exquisite, fine quality and is happy and content to have a great deal of money, which he manages well. He is generous. He is compassionate, not egotistical at all. He enjoys travel for pleasure and learning, especially learning about spiritual matters—an interest both of us love and share. He nurtures himself spiritually. He likes art and enjoys collecting it with me. His words are soft and tender. He has no anger or fear within him. He has made peace with God and lives in serenity. He considers the needs of others, but first and foremost takes care of himself. He sets healthy boundaries and is not codependent or addicted. He is truthful in all his dealings. He is respected and respectful. He has many friends. My children have a healthy love and respect for him.

When I re-read these words this morning, I realized that what I wrote is true today. When I wrote them, I didn’t think they were true, but they expressed my heart’s desire. I don’t know who changed. Maybe both of us did. Maybe it was there all the time, and I just couldn’t see it. But I’m very sure that transformation began when I wrote the words, affirmed them as truth, and let them go. So I invite you to choose something in your life that isn’t working like you want and write an affirmation. Then put it away. Forget about it. One day, you’ll open that box, read what you wrote, and realize how wonderfully your life has changed.

Nancy Oelklaus, Ed.D, is an executive coach and author of Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically and Alphabet Meditations for Teachers: Everyday Wisdom for Educators. She is an educator, an entrepreneur, a speaker and workshop leader. She lives on the rim of a canyon in Austin, TX, with her husband, Harlan, and Feathers, a curly white lap dog.