Contributed by Irene Watson

Financial responsibility can be a difficult task for many of us. In today’s economic climate, we are exposed to stories of people who were not responsible, or less than scrupulous about their financial dealings, and as a result, many have suffered.

The first rule of financial responsibility for anyone in recovery is to take care of yourself first. Often, we overextend ourselves financially. We may be trying to keep up with the Joneses out of a sense of insecurity and low self-esteem. We need to remind ourselves we don’t need to compete with anyone and money is not the only measure of success or worthiness. At the other extreme, we may be tempted to give more than we can afford. We let people use us by giving and giving until it hurts—we loan our best friend money we can’t afford to give because we are afraid to say no. A month later, she still hasn’t repaid it but she has bought a big screen TV, or maybe she went on a vacation. We want to tell her how to handle her finances, but if we do, it will just cause arguments. We resent our friend, we are angry at ourselves, and we might even have put ourselves into financial risk.

Charitable giving can be another issue for people in recovery. How much should we give? If we don’t give enough, will people think less of us? We need to find the healthy balance between joyful giving and making sure we meet our financial responsibilities to ourselves. I believe tithing is very important and a part of life, however, it’s also important to know that tithing comes in many forms. It is not necessarily just giving 10% of your income to a place of worship; it is also giving money and/or goods to charity of your choice and volunteering your time. It could even be giving a bottle of water to a homeless person panhandling on the street corner or an extra tip to wait staff. Tithing is about giving of yourself while you get spiritual fulfillment.

However, we should never give out of a sense of guilt. Financial responsibility includes responsibility to our feelings. If we don’t want to give, we don’t have to; we don’t have to feel guilt about it, nor do we have to justify our reasons. At the same time, when we do give, we learn to let go—we give with the belief that what we need will be provided for us, and we give in belief that what we give will help someone, will make the world a better place, and we will all grow from it.

Irene Watson, MA, is author of The Sitting Swing: Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference, and co-editor of The Story that Must Be Told: True Tales of Transformation, and Authors Access: 30 Success Secrets for Authors and Publishers. She is a workshop leader, managing editor of Reader Views, and president of a non-profit Higher Power Foundation. Irene lives next to Barton Creek in Austin, TX, with her husband Robert.